One of the things that really irritates me about myself is my insecurities and how they can hold me back from at least TRYING to achieve something. I remember when I came out of university and was going to all these interviews for various media positions and everyone just seemed so smart, comfortable in their roles, good looking and a million miles away from what I felt I was. If I’d ever got a job within that industry I’m not entirely sure how comfortable I would have felt, as I would have always worried about not fitting in etc.
I still feel like that now from time to time, when I attend something and see so many good looking PR people who clearly have the confidence to pull off a role like that. Sure, just like anyone else it might just be carrying it well on the outside, but it still makes me think back to that whole ‘image is everything’ way of life. I’ve often felt judged by appearance, not taken seriously and looked down on by many. It’s not a fun way to live and to this day it can still put me off from putting myself forward for things because I don’t feel worthy or that I fit the ‘mould’ so to speak.
That’s not to say that there’s necessarily a stereotypical look or style of person that has to be in these roles, as more than ever the industry seems open to taking on people that are GOOD rather than focusing completely on image. I know it’s a lot to do with how I perceive myself and the lack of being comfortable in my own skin. It’s just something I’ve felt for so many years now that it’s hard to shift away from. I see friends achieving great things and I think well maybe things are possible, but then I manage to get stuck in that fear again.
Who am I? What am I truly capable of? Sometimes it just takes someone else to see something in you for you to be able to see it too. It’s surprising how the criticism of others when you’re younger can stick with you for so long.
It’s a pain in the arse really.
Maybe one day I’ll conquer it.
I just hope it won’t be too late by then.
David Bedwell 
I get what you’re saying about insecurity. We’re always our own biggest critics, but sometimes all it takes is for one person to compliment or validate you to bring you out of the slump.
There’s no denying it, a lot of people in this world do judge on appearance, can be very materialistic. But that’s just society, people are trained to be that way.
Trick is finding people that have broken the training and are interested in the souls behind the flesh suits. People who make the effort to see the good sides of people instead of focusing on what society tells them good/smart people look like.
When it comes down to it, the best you can do is have pity on the people who bully/judge, and know that by simply doing that they’re very ugly on the inside, where it matters. The world is changing every day and the more it does, the more irrelevant physical form becomes.
I can’t say I’ve found the secret to getting past insecurities or anything like that, I’m still attempting to do the same thing after years of being judged based on appearance. But what I’ve found helps is finding like-minded people and making the effort to be around them. It takes a long time to build confidence and security in yourself, it’s a constant struggle, but the important thing is to keep trying. Because it’s worth it.
You have to just go out there and do what you want to do, be who you want to be. And if people don’t make the attempt to get to know the real you, that’s their problem. It’s nothing wrong with you.
And the longer you do it, the more people you get behind you holding you up, giving you confidence, helping you move forward to become something more. And most importantly, the happier you’ll be.
Thank you 🙂 I know you’re right, of course. I guess I just get stuck in this stupid mindset every so often when I regress back to the criticisms of people who really don’t even matter. You know how stuff just sticks with you sometimes? It’s silly when you think about it, especially now I am more confident and have far more friends who are similar to me and understand me etc. I guess it’s just forcing myself to shift focus to the positives and trying to use those 🙂
Unfortunately that’s just the way the brain is wired, we remember negative/painful experiences more than others as a self defense mechanism to try and prepare us for them if/when they happen again. But the more positive experiences you have and the more friendships you build, the less this is a problem.
I can close my eyes and remember vividly almost any event where I was traumatized or upset, or even embarrassed in some way. But to remember the good times is a lot more difficult. Key thing is to remember that there are good things that happened, probably a lot more than negative things, but because you were happy at the time your brain didn’t burn them into your memory for self defense.
Whenever I think about negative things that happened in the past now, I just remember that they’re in the past. And while you may never get over them you can make sure that they don’t define you. After all, the reason you remember them is to try and stop them happening again.